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Post by tristandyerkindy on Jan 15, 2016 22:19:47 GMT
"Simply put, to be self-aware is to know yourself as you really are. Initially, self-awareness can come across as a somewhat ambiguous concept. There is no finish line where someone is going to slap a medal on you and deem you “self-aware.” Awareness of yourself is not just knowing that you are a morning person instead of a night owl. It’s deeper than that. Getting to know yourself inside and out is a continuous journey of peeling back the layers of the onion and becoming more and more comfortable with what is in the middle—the true essence of you."
As we learned from the previous chapters of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, our bodies are programed to feel emotion first before being able to process rational thought. In order to be able to handle these emotions as they present themselves will vary greatly on our ability to perceive what is happening emotionally inside us and around us. Sometimes it is very difficult for us to be honest with ourselves concerning what we are feeling. Remember that ever attempt made to take a step forward with your Emotional Intelligence training will get you closer to being better at handling yourself and others in challenging situations.
Bradberry and Greaves present us with 15 strategies for becoming more self-aware. They are as follows:
1. Quit treating your feelings as good or bad. 2. Observe the ripple effect from your emotions 3. Lean into your discomfort. 4. Feel your emotions physically. 5. Know who and what pushes your buttons. 6. Watch yourself like a hawk. 7. Keep a journal about your emotions. 8. Don't be fooled by a bad mood. 9. Don't be fooled by a good mood, either. 10. Stop and ask yourself why you do the things you do. 11. Visit your values. 12. Check yourself. 13. Spot your emotions in books, movies, and music. 14. Seek feedback. 15. Get to know yourself under stress.
For this months exercise, read chapter 5 on Self-Awareness Strategies. Then, create a post (select "reply" below) that identifies two strategies that you believe you are competent in and why citing specific examples of when you have used those strategies in practice. Also, choose three other strategies and define a plan for implementing them into your daily practices. Finally, watch the video below and discuss how Michael is exhibiting poor self awareness. What strategies might he use to help him be more self-aware?
Over the next month, please respond to at least two other posts with substantive remarks (i.e. not just "I agree, good post"). Use this as a working forum and learn from both yourself and others. Good Luck!
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ashleighsnowden
New Member
On a scale of one to ten, how emotionally intelligent are you? Banana.
Posts: 6
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Post by ashleighsnowden on Jan 17, 2016 3:04:33 GMT
Hey Everyone! First I want to thank Tristan for taking the time to create this forum and second I want to say that despite the hard work ahead I am excited about this journey! Self-Awareness Strategy example 1: Feel your emotions physically. I have always been acutely aware of physical sensations when my emotions were triggered. Going back to my early childhood competitive sports days reminds me of how intensely nervous I would get before a game. I loved going to practice for example but would have severe stomach cramps and an accelerated pulse by game time. Call it test anxiety or the stress of performance but I can always feel before I even recognize the mental aspects. That being said I have spent years realizing this part of myself and honestly feel like I have gained a grasp on this response. I still get a dry mouth before public speaking but just have water handy! Strategy 2: Know who and what pushes your buttons. Lately, at work, I have been really thinking about this strategy even before I knew it was one. My staff, like everyone's, is small. This family sized environment is amazingly filled with tons of unique individuals whose personal styles can some times irritate me. At first I thought I was successful at this strategy but recently was reminded I have only done part of the work. I am good at recognizing the who and what but had not stopped to consider the why. This exercise gave me an aha moment. For example - why does clutter caused by an individual cause me such angst? One individual at my store repeatedly lets a bit of chaos behind the bar build up and then calmly cleans it up later. If I am witnessing this cluttered chaos in the moment I have to intervene and begin to clean (many witnessed this of me at the GMC in Tahoe and Salt Lake ;-) ) It occurred to me that their approach, though mildly infuriating to me and my method, is still valid. Simply put - my way was inefficient. I move more than anyone and not necessarily with direct purpose. One reason I think was my need to impress my parents as a kid and have the cleanest room over my siblings. This repeated behavior is comically referenced at family gatherings. 3 Strategies I want to actively focus on: • Lean into your discomfort - I am actually uncomfortable just thinking about this strategy! Even mentally preparing to write this reply caused me to fear what I need to work on. • Watch yourself like a hawk - this goal is exactly what I need! Slow yourself down and take in all that is in front of you. Truer words have never been written and this one really resonates with what I know I need to focus on. • Visit your values - this one is the trickiest for me. I have never been good at recognizing what I believe in or what my goals might be. I have always shot from the hip and used strong emotions (good or bad) to dictate major life choices. It is time to really sit down and formulate these for myself. Video Clip - Why was Michael socially unaware? He isn't visiting his values. He knows she is the wrong person for him but deep down he he will not listen to himself. His emotions are winning him over. I would also say he is afraid of this discomfort. Getting back with her would, in the short term, prevent him from having to really deal with his emotions. Lastly he is unaware of the potential ripple effect his personal drama might have on his co-workers.
Would love any feedback! Have a great day - Ashleigh
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Post by aljallen on Feb 1, 2016 3:05:19 GMT
Hello Everyone!
Strategy #1: Get to know yourself under stress. In my late teens and early twenties, I was faced with high stress situations involving natural disasters in Asia. Because of this, I had to not just take formal courses in maintaining self-awareness and a coolness in high-stress situations, but practice this as well. I also had to take time to learn healthy ways to cope with stress and relieve it. These courses and experience have helped me to spot my "red flags" for stress, and also to calmly handle any situation that arises and find healthy outlets for relieving it.
Strategy #2: Keep a journal about your emotions. I never kept a journal until I was in college, and when I started I realized how useful it was. It's not just for teenage girls talking about their crushes! If I've had a trying day, I'll vent about it in my journal, and then revisit it the next day so that I can objectively gain a better perspective on the situation I'm faced with, and make the best decision I can without letting my emotions rule.
Three strategies I want to focus on: 1. Visit your values: I get caught up in my work life and the lives of those I care about very easily, and can occasionally lose sight of my own values. I want to take more time to myself to explore this further, and like the suggestion given in the book to sit down and make a list and revisit this. 2. Watch yourself like a hawk: I think this ties into visiting my values as well, in that I need to take time to slow down and be more observant, whether it's of my own values or situations. I'm still working on a strategy for how I would like to implement this more, but I think seeking a mentor would be great for this, as it gives the third person perspective that will be helpful. 3. Know who and what pushes your buttons: To me, this is such an important strategy, as I think too often people can be unaware of these. I think it's important to revisit this, especially given the industry we work in where we are consistently having interactions in a smaller work space with customers and employees. This ties into watching myself like a hawk, as well as making a starter list of these to increase my awareness.
Michael is exhibiting poor self awareness by not stopping and asking himself why he does the things he does. He chooses to say that she makes him do things he doesn't want to do. He should look at why he made the choices he did in his relationship previously, instead of placing the blame on her.
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Post by aljallen on Feb 1, 2016 3:08:18 GMT
And Ashleigh, I love your response to feeling your emotions physically! I used to be an athlete as well and can relate to this, however never though to put it into practice in my daily work life! I think I will try to apply my sports experience to gaining a better understanding of my emotional reactions.
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Post by Britney Brennan on Feb 1, 2016 19:36:38 GMT
Here goes nothing...
Strategies I grasp:
1. Observe the ripple effect from your emotions. This is probably one of my favorite tools that I use with my staff. I, personally, call myself an "emotional sponge" often. Just by being near someone I can pick up their sadness, stress, elation, whatever it may be. I tell my staff just about everyday that negativity is "contagious", sadly more so than positivity. I make sure that every day, I come in with a huge smile on my face and strive to be the most untroubled and congenial person in the store. (You're only as happy as you let yourself be!) I can instantly see the effect on my staff! They loosen up, laugh and perform at their highest! Their happy mood isn't a hindrance on their salesmanship, like a bad mood can be. Everything becomes EASIER. It would be unjust of me to come in to work with a sullen mood and ask them to pick up my slack. I am the leader, I need to create a favorable, enthusiastic, and encouraging ripple, everyday!
2. Get to know yourself under stress. Hello Stress... an all too familiar fiend. It took me many years to figure out how to learn how to function properly with it! For me, it's tied with figuring out "observe the ripple effect from your emotions". There is a saying - sometimes you learn what not to do from a boss, than what to do. Hopefully, most haven't experienced this. My old boss, would fly in, and be an absolute wreck from stress. The only way this person could function was to take it out on the people below them. Naturally, this made everyone else on edge, daily. I started to see a pattern over weeks, of how my fellow co-workers and I performed when this person was there, and how we did on days they were not. I realized that they were coming in, as the leader, and creating a unfavorable work culture. I found this as a great, but challenging opportunity to be the Team's cheerleader! It was my daily goal to make them smile, laugh, loosen up and help them. I find it to be one of the most important things I've learned from my previous boss. I try my hardest to not let my team know when I am stressed! I oddly become even more bubbly, happy-go-lucky and excitable! This didn't happen over night, I read a lot of self help books and read a lot of blogs of how to calm the heck down! It took about a full year to feel like I am bordering on having mastered this. (Lots of deeeep breaths!) I can only get better!
Strategies I need to focus on:
-Seek Feedback *Commence full body revulsion* - I definitely have a fear of not being adequate enough. Can't one simply live in beautiful, ignorant bliss???! At my next team meeting I plan on asking my staff about what things I can do better for them in the store... provided I don't faint and get the words out... -Lean into my own discomfort I think my last description shows I am not thrilled about this but it is something I must work on. I despise confrontation because of the discomfort it causes me. If I can conquer this, my store can run more efficiently. I think I'm sweating now, having thought about this... -Stop and ask myself why I do the things I do A month ago, I would say that never, ever, sat down and actually thought about this. Yes, I have my scripted story that I have for customers, family, friends, ect, but what do I think/feel. I recently just read a book "The Power of Habit". (Totally recommend it - IT WAS AMAZE) I have not had a day go by since where I do not ask myself, why the heck do I do this everyday. Put work aside... just daily things, that I have made routine, for no rhyme or reason. It is so easy to deal with things on a daily basis and never think of the long term effect. I often times need to tell myself to SLOW DOWN and think about why am I doing something, and should I continue to do so. This will take a lot of practice...
Signing off - Live long and prosper...
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Post by tristandyerkindy on Feb 2, 2016 1:35:36 GMT
Ashleigh/Anna/Britney:
Thank you all for being the brave first posters. Exploring your own emotions can be extremely intimidating to do on your own. It requires being honest with yourself, especially when it most difficult. That takes true courage. Putting yourself on display in front of your peers adds even more of a challenge, and I commend you all for taking your first steps towards becoming more emotionally intelligent.
Ashleigh: Knowing who and what push your buttons is an incredibly valuable skill to master. This is a major step along the way to being able to manage how you react as a result of your feelings. By understanding the people, situations, or activities that put us on edge, we can be better prepared to accept the moment and look for a way to create a positive experience. To your point, considering the "why" of the matter is integral, particularly in management. Having an understanding of who and what grinds your gears is not a prelude to avoiding those people or situations, though. Most times we will not have that luxury. Instead, we can use the information to help us get through with less stress and communicate with others about the "why." For instance, "UGH, why is that every time you are working I come in to a messy kitchen?! This is unacceptable!" sends a very different message than, "When I come in to a messy kitchen, it makes me feel stressed and upset. What solution can we come to on this issue." The content is similar, but by exercising emotional awareness and communicating your feelings to others in a constructive way, we can maintain a healthy environment for all while fixing the problem through collaboration.
What positive changes have you seen so far in your work environment as a result of this understanding?
Anna: While I have not personally ever kept a journal, I certainly understand the merits of keeping one as a medium for venting frustration and keeping track of yourself and your emotions. I have never really considered going back later to view a situation from a more relaxed and objective state. Just last week, I was unpacking boxes from my move that, among other things, contained old computer files. One particular disk had a complete back up of an old PC. While I was combing through it for any files I didn't want to get rid of, I came across my chat history from ICQ (that was a chat program way before the days of AOL instant messenger and G-chat...and now I am dating myself). It was fun going through some of the old conversations I had in high school and college. I had come across one conversation in particular that startled me a bit. It was an argument with a friend over something trivial. From the text, it was clear that neither party was practicing good emotional intelligence techniques. Reading it present day, I was a bit disgusted with myself for acting as short sighted and angry as I did. It almost did not seem like something I would have even written. While this is an extreme example of allowing time to think on feelings and reactions, it nonetheless proves your point that taking time to ruminate on these things can prove a song weapon in weilding our EI.
What have you learned about yourself as a result of journalling?
Britney: From having worked with you, I know that you are very transparent with your emotions. It was obvious that you always made an effort to go into work with a cheerful demeanor, and it certainly resonated with your team. You are absolutely right that energy and emotions are contagious, and even those in bad moods can eventually be elevated by others being happy around them. As you point out, however, this is a two way street and people can easily be brought down by others dwelling in bad moods. One of my favorite quotes is "Be the change you want to see in the world" (Ghandi) This goes for everything from attitude to action. When we lead our teams, we are the greatest model for what can and should be expected in the work environment. If we remain steadfast and positive in our emotions, we se the tone and others will follow.
You have now had a chance to interact with a new team in Store 20. How has your positive attitude changed the atmosphere in the store?
Great job so far all!
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Post by Britney Brennan on Feb 2, 2016 16:35:16 GMT
Tristan- Taking over store 20 last May was when the demeanor of the staff was most identifiable. The team was tired, they were heading in to the busiest time of year, they were stressed and emotions were running high. I often was asked the question, "How are you happy ALL the time??". There were certainly days I didn't want to be, but it is as if a switch flips. It's work, it is not about you, it's about the customer. I tried to teach them all that it is a roll you're playing. My work character is 100x more bubbly than my out of store character. Meg actually compared it to a play the other day... you never want to break character in front of the crowd. After time, the staff found their own happiness with the work they were doing. I didn't have to spend as much energy on making them happy, they were performing in a jovial manner on their own. Those who didn't... weeded themselves out! >
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Post by aljallen on Feb 2, 2016 17:20:57 GMT
Tristan- As a result of keeping a journal I have become more aware, much like your story, of the tendencies as a human being I could have to spend too much time focusing on things that really didn't matter. It helped me look more at the "big picture", and has taught me the necessity of picking and choosing your battles. It has greatly reduced my stress both personally and at work, and has made me a better leader as a result.
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Post by matthewwilson on Feb 5, 2016 20:55:57 GMT
Self-reflection is intimidating and indeed an arduous mental exercise, as we claw upstream against the tide of emotions generated by our monkey brains. I make it a habit to acknowledge but not dwell on my emotions and try to filter the noise as not to let them shout down the quiet voices of reason. Abstractly, this task seems simple enough, but practically, when my chemicals start mixing around involuntarily and neurons start popping off like a faulty circuit board, it’s easy to lose perspective.
In spite of this “battle” as Bradberry and Greaves put it, I have taught myself to avoid the false dichotomy of treating my feelings as good or bad. I like to think about my emotions as something that is happening to me rather than them being a part of me. Like any other sensation it is silly to blame myself for feeling it and pointless to assign a level of virtue to a particular feeling. How I react to these feelings is where the virtue lies. Much like a strong, foul aroma might signal to me “maybe don’t eat that oyster”, a sense of fear or anger can spring me into action like when my daughter aims her golf pencil-sized finger at the electrical outlet. In a management environment, fear or anger, if handled rationally can be used as an indicator light blinking to inform me that an issue needs to be addressed.
Complimentary with my efforts to avoid putting my emotions in “good” or “bad” piles, I am able to experience the bodily responses to my feelings and feel my emotions physically. One very particular and peculiar sensation I experience is an insatiable itch on the tip of my nose whenever I start to feel stressed. I’m not certain if this is just an endearing quirk of my personality or a serious corruption of the microbiology of my brain and nervous system. I nevertheless have been able to identify this signal and respond accordingly. I can remember an evening when the flight schedule was light and we were scheduled accordingly. Then, without warning, an entire plane seemed to de-board onto our patio. Light on prep and staff, I began to feel as though my nose was being massaged with fiberglass insulation. I read the warning sign and avoided typical stress behavior, gathered myself and my team of one other person and focused on the task at hand.
As an admitted introvert, I do find myself reflecting and examining my experiences often, however this is just the beginning of being self-aware. One strategy I would like to employ, is to lean into my discomfort. I find myself dismissing my emotions at times in an effort to skip straight to rational problem solving. This can be a useful tool to declutter my mind, but in ignoring both negative as well as positive emotions simply because I’m more comfortable without them, I lose the nutritious bits of those feelings, like the warning signals and indicators to explore the why. I would also like to visit my values more often. I have tried to build a structure of values that I stand for and wish implement in my life and expressing them is not something I find difficult. I do however, more than I’d like, find myself asking “why did I say that? I don’t think that way”. I’ve never thought of having to consciously revisit my worldview, but I think this would be an effective way to avoid the betrayal of my ideals by my words. Finally, as we all should, I will try to seek feedback more actively. I am aware that the filter of consciousness muddies and distorts my self-image. In striving for self-awareness, I will need to eliminate the biases I project on myself and trust more reliable, outside sources.
That brings me to poor Michael. He is painfully unaware of his emotions. Perhaps if he took the time to know himself under stress, he might be better equipped to conduct himself rationally under the circumstances.
-Matt
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ashleighsnowden
New Member
On a scale of one to ten, how emotionally intelligent are you? Banana.
Posts: 6
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Post by ashleighsnowden on Feb 7, 2016 16:36:51 GMT
I am enjoying the idea that all of us are not so keen on leaning into the discomfort of things. I suppose I can't say who I know in my life that feels they are strong in that area, but it does give me comfort knowing we are not alone. In response to Tristan's question to me personally about understanding what pushes my buttons I would have to say this...I am just realizing how much I bring to the table of frustration. I am the one who decides what is frustrating to me. I am not sure I can convey this more clearly but what I mean is that I am trying to "own" my emotions more and stop casting blame on others for making me feel a certain way. My attempts at this at the store are more noticeable (if only to me so far) that I am starting to understand that if I just stop, breathe, and smile a bit more my interactions are all together better! I also would love to be the smiling force at my store all the time and not just when I decide to be in a good mood. Britney, you really do always seem to have a smile on your face! It is a powerful thing. For Matt, I will have to play poker with you and see if your nose starts to itch...you have a wonderful way of telling your story. Anna, I would say that one thing I am trying to learn most about myself right now is embracing this anxiety that I feel physically. I am trying to embrace that butterflies/stomach churning anxiety as a positive reaction and not a negative. I want to stop fearing that feeling and realize it means something extraordinary is about to happen instead. I will keep ya posted! -- Ash
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Post by michelle on Feb 8, 2016 5:06:49 GMT
Hello everyone,
This developing of oneself is very challenging and daunting, however pretty damn exciting at the same time. I have to force myself not to speed through this process when I think about where I hope to be in the next few months. I never expected for our core value of Plant and Grow to relate to me in this way, but it makes sense. In order to help others grow we too need to constantly learn and strive to be a better version of ourselves.
The test revealed self-awareness was my weakest area of Emotional Intelligence. I was surprised at first but after reading the first 5 chapters I came to realize self-awareness doesn't just mean knowing what you are feeling. It goes way beyond that. I have always been aware when I feel angry, sad, guilty, ashamed. I am aware and then immediately suppress them. This is part of treating your feelings as good or bad and leaning into the discomfort. I am aware of when I feel anxious, insecure, inadequate. These emotions tend to take control of my thoughts and behaviors. This leads me into the 3 strategies I am focusing on:
1. Visit your values
When I read what they meant by this it hit me how much I am like the person they describe. Until this past year, I hardly ever took the time to focus inward. My focus was on my to do list and constantly keeping busy. I did not allow any time to look inward. This constant motion was pretty addicting. I would get an adrenaline rush running from one thing to the other and often times working on multiple tasks at the same time. For the past couple of months I first focused on just slowing down. I no longer run to catch the employee bus. Instead I take that time to sit in my car and think about who I want to be that day or just listen to music. I now stay for "final rest" at the end of my workouts. It is like a 5 minute meditation. During this time I try to practice an awareness exercise I learned which has you focus on every sound you hear, every sensation you feel and every scent you smell (not always a good thing after a workout class!). Physically slowing down is allowing me to mentally slow down and focus on my values
2. Know who and what pushes your buttons
I find this one to be the most challenging. I have not been very good at determining the "why" behind someone or thing that pushes my buttons. I have come to recognize when an employee is anxious it sets my anxiety into motion. But I realize that is a 2 way street (see my #3 strategy). I have an employee who used to write really long emails revolving around statements like: "I don't mean to complain/cause any problems/be a pain." If I didn't respond back with an equally long message she would take it as I didn't care. In the beginning I didn't see that her anxiety overwhelms her and these emails were somewhat of a release. My reaction to her emails were not what she needed nor could she respond positively to my response. Recently she wrote one of these emails. I caught myself getting anxious right when I opened it. After a couple minutes I was able to remind myself she just needs reassurance to help calm her anxiety. Instead of emailing her back I called her so she could hear I meant what I was saying.
3. Observe the ripple effect of your emotions
As I mentioned above just as someone's anxiety effects my mood, my anxiety and stress effects the environment around me. Working on the above 2 strategies along with check yourself, get to know yourself under stress and watch yourself like a hawk have helped me improve in this area. I know most importantly I need to slow down, not react immediately and do not allow my emotions to overpower me. To help me put the focus on something other than my emotions at that moment I came up with saying a word that makes me happy...."puppies!" I don't ignore the emotion because I know that won't help me learn from it, rather it is just a buffer between my emotion and reaction. Now some of my employees say it when they need to and we usually just start laughing. What could have possibly been a negative situation has turned into something comical, at least to us.
Britney:
Thanks for sharing strategies for improving on the ripple effect. Other than "The Power of Habit" are there any other articles/books/blogs you found helpful when improving in these aspects.
Ashleigh:
I too haven't taken the time to really understand my beliefs and goals and move purposefully towards them. I have always had difficulty finding the right words to describe what I want to say or what I feel. The strategy of find your emotions in books, movies, music is helpful. I have also just been googling core values and reading articles on the web. Reading about it is helping me to construct my list of values and ways to move towards them.
Tristan:
I have come to like this quote from Ghandi: "Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny."
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Post by Crystal Zhao on Feb 8, 2016 15:05:46 GMT
Hi friends! So at first I was hesitant to write this reply because it didn't sound as serious as some of the other ones on this board, but I wanted to say that two huge determining factors that affect my patience and happiness are food and sleep. This directly ties into the "Know who and what pushes your buttons" in a more macroscopic way. I try to encourage my team as well to make sure that they don't come to work hungry or tired, because I consider these to be universal triggers to having poorer self-control. Once these biological needs are taken care of, you have a better chance of being able to "play the role" that Britney and Meg mentioned. There is a famous Kurt Vonnegut (RIP) quote that I have always really liked, and it is "We are who pretend to be, so we must be careful who we pretend to be." This is especially important with the face that we show our guests and the face that we show our staff. We really can morph ourselves into being super positive and bubbly people just by effort alone, but we can't make that effort if we come onto the stage in a weakened state.
As for the journaling strategy, it is easy to fall into the trap of using it as a means to vent and complain and let negative thoughts take over. One Business Insider article that I once read detailed the reflection processes of many different CEOs. One CEO kept a very small daily journal, and for every day, he only wrote down one thing: the biggest mistake that he thought he made that day. He used it to make sure that he did not ever repeat his mistakes. It seems like this would be a pessimistic exercise, but just like all self-reflection and self-help advice, it really is about improvement instead. So for instance, if on Monday I wrote that my mistake was, "I was rude to the Dunkin Donuts guy," or "I cursed within earshot of a guest," just writing it down and knowing that it was the wrong thing to do would stick in my mind for the future. (Note: I was not rude to the Dunkin Donuts guy nor did I curse in front of a guest. I think. This is just an example.)
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chad
New Member
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Post by chad on Feb 13, 2016 16:44:50 GMT
#4 Feeling Emotions Physically: This is certainly one strategy that I am aware of. Whether experiencing nervousness, anger, excitement, or any other emotion; there is physical change in how we feel that can be notice and measured. Being nervous may cause the stomach muscles to tighten and make one feel like they don’t want to eat, however, not eating will deprive the body of nutrients it needs in order run properly. Low blood sugar could cloud your thinking and deprive a person of their full mental faculties thus producing bad decisions which could compound an issue. Envisioning success is an old strategy which goes back as far as the Napoleon Hill era of self help from the 1930s but I thought it was interesting that Bradberry & Greaves suggest experiencing emotions, both positive and negative, via quiet reflection and taking notice of the physical changes which occur in the body.
#15 Getting To Know Yourself Under Stress: This strategy ties into #4 because there’s a noticeable physical changes that occurs in within the body as stress levels begin to rise. We live within a culture where we are constantly bombarded with stimulus, add to that the airport environment which most of us work, Parking, TSA queues, TSA personnel, & stressed passengers and it becomes clear that our ambient stress levels may already be higher than someone else doing a comparable job in the city. I genuinely enjoy the day to day activities of the store: the Team, our guests, the hustle bustle of the airport, and the opportunity to create a mini-vacation for our guests. When the aspects of my work that I normally enjoy start to become annoying or the team members begin to aggravate me I take note. Likewise, I also take note of the physical changes that occur and realize that it’s time to take a break and step away for few moments.
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chad
New Member
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Post by chad on Feb 13, 2016 16:54:27 GMT
Anna, I agree, that learning healthy ways to cope with stress is paramount. Although not often talked about, many of our colleagues who were great people of tremendous skills and passion lost their way and their jobs because instead of finding ways to cope they turned to alcohol, prescription drugs, and sometimes both. Hello Everyone! Strategy #1: Get to know yourself under stress. In my late teens and early twenties, I was faced with high stress situations involving natural disasters in Asia. Because of this, I had to not just take formal courses in maintaining self-awareness and a coolness in high-stress situations, but practice this as well. I also had to take time to learn healthy ways to cope with stress and relieve it. These courses and experience have helped me to spot my "red flags" for stress, and also to calmly handle any situation that arises and find healthy outlets for relieving it.
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chad
New Member
Posts: 3
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Post by chad on Feb 13, 2016 17:05:37 GMT
Crystal, While not my natural strength, I did find identify the " Know Who and What Pushes Your Buttons" as a skill I would like to develop for myself. So often a rude person can enter the store or I can encounter them in public and they have no affect on me. Sometimes, the people closest to me or nicest people can say do or act in a manner that can trigger negative emotional reactions. It's intriguing to me to understand how and why these things affect me. Your Vonnegut comment was spot on! By dedicating our selves to where the face that we need have on in order to succeed professionals, we help our selves grow into being a genuinely positive force in our professional and personals lives. Hi friends! So at first I was hesitant to write this reply because it didn't sound as serious as some of the other ones on this board, but I wanted to say that two huge determining factors that affect my patience and happiness are food and sleep. This directly ties into the "Know who and what pushes your buttons" in a more macroscopic way. I try to encourage my team as well to make sure that they don't come to work hungry or tired, because I consider these to be universal triggers to having poorer self-control. Once these biological needs are taken care of, you have a better chance of being able to "play the role" that Britney and Meg mentioned. There is a famous Kurt Vonnegut (RIP) quote that I have always really liked, and it is "We are who pretend to be, so we must be careful who we pretend to be." This is especially important with the face that we show our guests and the face that we show our staff. We really can morph ourselves into being super positive and bubbly people just by effort alone, but we can't make that effort if we come onto the stage in a weakened state. As for the journaling strategy, it is easy to fall into the trap of using it as a means to vent and complain and let negative thoughts take over. One Business Insider article that I once read detailed the reflection processes of many different CEOs. One CEO kept a very small daily journal, and for every day, he only wrote down one thing: the biggest mistake that he thought he made that day. He used it to make sure that he did not ever repeat his mistakes. It seems like this would be a pessimistic exercise, but just like all self-reflection and self-help advice, it really is about improvement instead. So for instance, if on Monday I wrote that my mistake was, "I was rude to the Dunkin Donuts guy," or "I cursed within earshot of a guest," just writing it down and knowing that it was the wrong thing to do would stick in my mind for the future. (Note: I was not rude to the Dunkin Donuts guy nor did I curse in front of a guest. I think. This is just an example.)
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